"AS HARD AS YOU THINK IT IS, YOU END UP WISHING IT WERE THAT EASY"
-- Emma, the mother from Terms of Endearment
Are you wondering if you will make it through the day? Constantly feel like you are putting out fires without enough water in your hose? Feel blamed or guilty by the opinions of family, professionals or even yourself? Are you struggling to find services or schooling for your child? Are you dealing with an angry or confused teenager? Are you wondering if residential services will help or hurt your child? Are you parenting your grandchild, a stepchild, or a child who is learning to parent an infant?
These are constant themes for some Adoptive parents who live with children who have Attachment Disorders, most commonly Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD). We live with difficult realities which are complicated by the misunderstandings of friends, family, teachers and other professionals. Reactive Attachment Disorder is still often misunderstood or unknown to many people who work with our children. Worse yet, people often don't believe our opinions even after our hours of research and training because they don't see the same types of behavior from the child that the primary care giver experiences. So naturaly, they assume WE are the problem. There is nothing more discouraging and frustrating when we are doing what is best for our child than to feel sabatoged by the people we need to count on the most.
Trauma, abuse, parents prenatal substance abuse, multiple foster placements, post-partum depression, some foreign orphanages, premature birth, death or divorce creating an abscent parent along with many other issues can greatly affect normal development in infants and toddlers. Children may be affected differently and many will have multiple disabilities like Attention Deficit Disorder, developmental delays, behavioral problems, anti-social behavior and many other disorders. Finding resources and support while designing strategies to meet your child's needs can often be frustrating and difficult while also dealing with the other pressures of parenting and life.
If this sounds familiar, a professional Coaching relationship can offer you a supportive partnership in which to create an environment where you will grow and gain confidence. You can begin to develop the dreams you had for your family. Parents of children with RAD must essentially become in-home therapeutic parents. Coaching is not to be considered in place of therapy, some people may in deed have both with the agreement of the therapist. Coaching is about moving forward and a coach can be available by telephone during critical situations or times of intense stress. This kind of support is essential in creating a brighter future for your family. Many parents felt hopeless but with the support from some one who truly understands the challenges of RAD, they learn everything is possible! You can feel empowered to be the best parent you can be.
A Coach can have a huge impact on your life, helping you to gain confidence and feel empowered to make dynamic changes. A Coach who knows and understands the challenges of parenting children with Attachment Disorders or other disabilities will help you use the skills and strength you have to make the life you want possible. You will evolve as your goals and dreams develop and relationships improve creating a new perspective for the future for you and your family. Developing strategies and routines to overcome the daily behavioral issues with the RAD child allows the space for the bonding time and activities which both the parent and child need to experience together.
Kim Ahrenholz is a professional Coach who has been working with Adopted and Foster youth and families in crisis for many years. She also understands what it is to be the parent of children with RAD or who have been adopted suffering from trauma and abuse. She is the kind of coach that can truly relate to many of the issues an adoptive or foster parent experiences.
Foster and adoptive parents benefit from coaching by creating strategies for better self-care, learning to manage stress and burn out, finding the resources and techniques which are best suited for their family and special needs child. Together with a Coach you can develop new perspectives which are more positive and hopeful. Through this partnership parents can make better choices and feel supported which will improve their parenting skills while enhancing the quality of their lives. Create health and happiness through meeting your own needs as well as your families.
Coaches are trained to listen, observe and to customize their approach to your specific needs. Together you will create strategies for less stress and more happiness. The Coach's job is to provide support and resources with the focus on enhancing the abilities and creativity which the parent naturally has within themselves.
A no obligation complimentary 40 minute session allows you and the coach to determine if you are ready for coaching. It allows you to ask questions and get to know a little about one another and then decide whether it is something to pursue further. Adjustable fee setting will be considered for families in need of assistance.
